Crime Scenes from the Nursery
by mrspencil
Summary: Traditional nursery rhymes and songs with a Sherlockian twist. Inspired by a challenge from Mrs Hudson's Kitchen. Posted with the encouragement of Ennui Enigma and jack63kids. Also, a nod to CatsWhiskers fine series. Most were written in the wee small hours...you can probably tell...
1. Loose in the Morgue

_a/n: joining in, with the encouragement of ennui enigma and jack63kids; a selection of nursery rhymes with a Sherlockian twist. I own no aspect of BBC Sherlock, and no nursery rhymes._

* * *

**Loose in the Morgue**

* * *

Oh dear, what can the matter be?

A fresh corpse is the victim of battery;

Poor Molly Hooper responded to flattery;

Sherlock is loose in the morgue.

~0~

He told her he could not solve cases without her,

He studied her hair, and said nice things about her;

Now Molly's quite trusting, not much of a doubter;

So Sherlock is loose in the morgue.

~0~

* * *

_a/n 2: derived from this rhyme...from the 1780s_

_O dear, what can the matter be?  
O dear, what can the matter be?  
O dear, what can the matter be?  
Johnny's so long at the fair._

_He promised he'd bring me a bunch of blue ribbons._  
_He promised he'd bring me a bunch of blue ribbons._  
_He promised he'd bring me a bunch of blue ribbons._  
_To tie up my bonny brown hair._


	2. Grumble,Grumble, Little Skull

_a/n:a selection of nursery rhymes with a Sherlockian twist. I neither own any aspect of BBC Sherlock, nor any nursery rhymes_

* * *

**Grumble, Grumble, Little Skull**

* * *

Grumble, grumble, little skull;

Now your days are really dull.

Sherlock Holmes has found a friend;

Your role, alas, is at an end.

Grumble, grumble, little skull;

Now your days are really dull.

* * *

_a/n 2: from the rhyme..._

_Twinkle, twinkle little star_

_How I wonder what you are._

_Up above the world so high,_

_Like a diamond in the sky._

_Twinkle, twinkle little star_

_How I wonder what you are._


	3. Molly Hooper

_a/n: Sherlockian rhymes with a twist. I do not own any aspect of Sherlock BBC, nor any nursery rhymes._

* * *

**Molly Hooper**

* * *

Molly Hooper wonders why

Sherlock Holmes has caught her eye;

Even though he makes her cry,

Lovelorn Molly Hooper.

~0~

Molly Hooper perseveres

Each time Sherlock Holmes appears,

Even when it ends in tears;

Faithful Molly Hooper.

~0~

Molly Hooper knows full well

Sometimes only time will tell.

Was she there when Sherlock fell?

Silent Molly Hooper.

* * *

_a/n 2: from the rhyme..._

_Bobby Shafto's gone to sea,_

_Silver buckles at his knee;_

_He'll come back and marry me,_

_Bonny Bobby Shafto!_

_~0~_


	4. Cross Bow

_a/n: Nursery rhymes with a Sherlockian twist. I own no aspect of Sherlock BBC and no nursery rhymes._

* * *

**Cross Bow**

* * *

Cross bow;

Watch the sand flow,

Hope that it does not pour faster.

Who could know

A small circus show

Would prove to be such a disaster.

* * *

_a/n 2: from the rhyme..._

_See Saw Margery Daw,_

_Johnny shall have a new master;_

_Johnny shall earn but a penny a day,_

_Because he can't work any faster_


	5. Spare a thought for Mycroft

_a/n: Nursery rhymes with a Sherlockian twist. I own no aspect of BBC Sherlock and no nursery rhymes._

* * *

**Spare a thought for Mycroft**

* * *

Spare a thought for Mycroft

And what he has to bear;

Keeping track when Sherlock's

Out anywhere.

Dealing with the mayhem

Which follows in his wake;

Not a role just anyone

Would volunteer to take!

* * *

_a/n 2: from the rhyme..._

_Sing a song of sixpence_

_A pocket full of rye._

_Four and twenty blackbirds,_

_Baked in a pie._

_When the pie was opened_

_The birds began to sing._

_Wasn't that a dainty dish_

_To set before the king?_


	6. Pet Rabbit

_a/n: Nursery rhymes with a Sherlockian twist. I own no aspect of Sherlock BBC, nor any nursery rhymes._

* * *

**Pet Rabbit**

* * *

The Dartmoor wind blows;

The pet rabbit glows;

What will its owner do then, poor girl?

When pets disappear;

Amidst secrets and fear;

What schemes will begin to unfurl, poor girl?

* * *

_a/n 2: from the rhyme..._

_The North wind doth blow_

_And we shall have snow_

_What will the robin do then, poor thing?_

_He'll hide in a barn_

_And keep himself warm_

_And hide his head under his wing, poor thing._


	7. Belgravia

_a/n: Nursery rhymes with a Sherlockian twist. I own no aspect of BBC Sherlock, and no nursery rhymes._

* * *

**Belgravia**

* * *

Take a cab ride to Belgravia Square

And greet a fine lady with nothing to wear.

Locks on her cell phone and secrets to keep,

And drugs to put passing detectives to sleep.

* * *

_a/n 2: from the rhyme..._

_Ride a cock-horse to Banbury Cross,  
To see a fine lady upon a white horse;  
Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes,  
And she shall have music wherever she goes_


	8. Tea

_a/n:Nursery rhymes with a Sherlockian twist. I own neither any aspect of Sherlock BBC, nor any nursery rhymes._

* * *

**Tea**

* * *

John's tea was hot;

John's tea is cold;

John's tea is in the pot, nine days old.

Tempers were hot;

Knife blade was cold;

One body on the floor, nine days old...

~0~

* * *

_a/n 2: from the rhyme..._

_Pease pudding hot,_

_Pease pudding cold_

_Pease pudding in the pot, nine days old._

_Some like it hot,_

_Some like it cold,_

_Some like it in the pot, nine days old._


	9. Oranges and Lemons

_a/n: Nursery rhymes with a Sherlockian twist. I do not own any aspect of Sherlock BBC , nor any nursery rhymes._

* * *

**Oranges and Lemons**

* * *

Accurate deduction

At the first introduction.

~0~

One war-scarred physician

Makes momentous decision.

~0~

Perceptions are shaken

When a flat share is taken.

~0~

How could they tell

It would suit them so well?

~0~

Two lost souls meet

Their address; Baker Street.

~0~

Together, much more

Than they both were before.

~0~

Here comes a shadow

To darken it all,

And here

Comes

A

Blood

Freezing

Heart

Stopping

Fall

~0~

* * *

_a/n 2: from the rhyme..._

_Oranges and lemons,  
Say the bells of St. Clement's._

_You owe me five farthings,_  
_Say the bells of St. Martin's._

_When will you pay me?_  
_Say the bells of Old Bailey._

_When I grow rich,_  
_Say the bells of Shoreditch._

_When will that be?_  
_Say the bells of Stepney._

_I do not know,_  
_Says the great bell of Bow._

_Here comes a candle to light you to bed,_  
_And here comes a chopper to chop off your head!_


	10. Lipstick

_a/n: Nursery rhymes with a Sherlockian twist. I own no aspect of BBC Sherlock, nor any nursery rhymes._

* * *

Molly puts some lipstick on,

Molly puts some lipstick on,

Molly puts some lipstick on,

For Sherlock's sake.

~0~

Molly takes it off again,

Molly takes it off again,

Molly takes it off again,

A foolish mistake.

* * *

_a/n 2: from the rhyme..._

_Polly put the kettle on,_

_Polly put the kettle on,_

_Polly put the kettle on,_

_We'll all have tea._

_~0~_

_Sukey take it off again,_

_Sukey take it off again,_

_Sukey take it off again,_

_They've all gone away._


	11. Polished

_a/n: Nursery rhymes with a Sherlockian twist. I own no aspect of Sherlock BBC, and no nursery rhymes._

* * *

Irene Adler Sher-locked her phone.

Irene Adler undressed alone.

Polished her riding crop, painted her lips;

_The woman_ with perfect size thirty four hips.

* * *

_a/n 2: from the rhyme..._

_Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,_

_Humpty Dumpty had a great fall._

_All the king's horses and all the king's men_

_Couldn't put Humpty together again._


	12. Cane

_a/n: Nursery rhymes with a Sherlockian twist. I own no aspect of Sherlock BBC, nor any nursery rhymes._

* * *

Sherlock had a flat mate, John;

A soldier and GP;

Who saw through Sherlock's prickly shell

What others failed to see.

He followed on a case one day;

And could not quite explain

Why when he ran at Sherlock's side,

He did not need his cane.

* * *

_a/n 2: from the rhyme..._

_Mary had a little lamb,_

_Its fleece was white as snow;_

_And everywhere that Mary went_

_The lamb was sure to go._

_It followed her to school one day,_

_Which was against the rule;_

_It made the children laugh and play_

_To see a lamb at school_.


	13. Home

_a/n: Nursery rhymes with a Sherlockian twist. I own no aspect of Sherlock BBC and no nursery rhymes,_

* * *

**Home**

* * *

John, John, your cane has gone;

Left behind once the game was on.

In Baker Street

You have found your feet,

And your search for a home is at last complete.

* * *

_a/n 2: from the rhyme..._

_Tom, Tom, the piper's son,_

_Stole a pig, and away did run;_

_The pig was eat_

_And Tom was beat,_

_And Tom went crying _

_Down the street._


	14. Mrs Hudson

_a/n: Nursery rhymes with a Sherlockian twist. I own no aspect of BBC Sherlock and no nursery rhymes._

* * *

**Mrs Hudson**

* * *

So, here's to Mrs Hudson,

Quirky little soul;

Though she would deny her

Loving mother role.

Bringing in the tea tray,

Answering the door;

A traumatised ex-army doctor

Couldn't want more.

* * *

_a/n 2: from the rhyme..._

_I had a little nut tree,  
Nothing would it bear  
But a silver nutmeg  
And a golden pear;_

_The King of Spain's daughter_  
_Came to visit me,_  
_And all for the sake_  
_Of my little nut tree._


	15. Ding Dong Bell

_a/n: nursery rhymes with a Sherlockian twist. I own no aspect of BBC Sherlock and no nursery rhymes._

_Many, many thanks to all who have read; or read and reviewed my rhymes so far :-)_

* * *

**Ding dong bell**

* * *

Ding, dong, bell;

The vicar isn't well.

~0~

Bruised, pleading eyes;

Sherlock in disguise.

~0~

She hears him ring;

Does not miss a thing.

~0~

The man she has been waiting for;

Standing right outside her door.

~0~

She's calm and poised and battle-dressed.

And steps through the doorway to greet her guest.

~0~

* * *

_a/n 2: from the rhyme..._

_Ding, dong, bell,_

_Pussy's in the well._

_Who put her in?_

_Little Johnny Green._

_Who pulled her out?_

_Little Tommy Stout._

_What a naughty boy was that,_

_To try to drown poor pussy cat,_

_Who ne'er did him any harm,_

_But killed all the mice in the farmer's barn._


	16. Sherlock's idea of a picnic

_a/n: Nursery rhymes and songs with a Sherlockian twist. I own no aspect of BBC Sherlock, and no nursery rhymes_

* * *

**Sherlock's idea of a picnic**

* * *

If you go down to the morgue today,

Prepare for your jaw to drop;

For Sherlock's down in the morgue today

And he's wielding a riding crop.

And every body stored in that place

Is simply there for solving a case;

Detective work is not for the tender hearted.

~0~

_Sherlock's in the morgue today;_

_He loves to thrash away at problems which occupy his brain._

_Cold and focused, he will stay_

_Until the slightest clue makes sense again._

_See him with his riding crop;_

_His work will never stop_

_He's making sure crime won't pay._

_Eventually, John Watson will drag him_

_Back home to Baker Street;_

_Though he knows he won't stay away._

~0~

If you must go to the morgue today

Please wait till the noise has ceased.

Please don't turn up at the morgue just yet

To visit your friend; deceased.

For even though his motives are true,

That really won't bring comfort to you,

If you observe him beating your dear departed.

~0~

_Sherlock's in the morgue today;_

_He loves to thrash away at problems which occupy his brain._

_Cold and focused, he will stay_

_Until the slightest clue makes sense again._

_See him with his riding crop;_

_His work will never stop_

_He's making sure crime won't pay._

_Eventually, John Watson will drag him_

_Back home to Baker Street;_

_Though he knows he won't stay away._

~0~

So, if you head for the morgue today,

Don't wander around alone;

Please listen out for a grunt or shout,

Or the bleep of a mobile phone;

Unless, of course, you're Molly or John,

And understand which planet he's on,

Detective work is not for the tender-hearted.

~0~

* * *

_a/n 2: inspired by "Teddy Bears Picnic", melody composed in 1907 (John Walter Bratton) words added in 1932 (Jimmy Kennedy)_


	17. Echoes

_a/n:Nursery rhymes with a Sherlockian twist. I own no aspect of BBC Sherlock and no nursery rhymes._

* * *

**Echoes**

* * *

A study once shaded in scarlet, now shaded pink;

Echoes the past, Sherlock, subtle link after link.

A study now shaded in pink, was scarlet instead;

Stop, look around, Sherlock, and unravel the thread.

~0~

Stairs to the landing, remember, all seventeen;

Climbed in times past, by so many; maid through to queen.

Frock coats, and silks, rags to riches, ruffles and bows;

Beggars and kings, see them, Sherlock; clients and foes.

~o~

Outside; you'd hear, from the window, hooves striking stone,

Wheels rattling; hobnails on cobbles; cries, rag and bone.

Inside; the scene seems familiar, fireside and chairs;

Desk where a doctor's recording each day's affairs.

~0~

A study once shaded in scarlet, now shaded pink;

Put down your phone, stop your texting, Sherlock, and think.

A study now shaded in pink was scarlet instead;

Honour those men, Sherlock, in whose footsteps you tread.

~o~

* * *

_a/n 2: from the rhyme..._

_Lavender's blue, dilly dilly, lavender's green,_

_When I am king, dilly, dilly, you shall be queen._

_Who told you so, dilly, dilly, who told you so?_

_'Twas my own heart, dilly, dilly, that told me so._

_~0~_

_Call up your men, dilly, dilly, set them to work_

_Some to the plow, dilly, dilly, some to the fork,_

_Some to make hay, dilly, dilly, some to cut corn,_

_While you and I, dilly, dilly, keep ourselves warm._

_~0~_

_Lavender's green, dilly, dilly, Lavender's blue,_

_If you love me, dilly, dilly, I will love you._

_Let the birds sing, dilly, dilly, And the lambs play;_

_We shall be safe, dilly, dilly, out of harm's way._

_~0~_

_I love to dance, dilly, dilly, I love to sing;_

_When I am queen, dilly, dilly, You'll be my king._

_Who told me so, dilly, dilly, Who told me so?_

_I told myself, dilly, dilly, I told me so._

_~0~_


	18. Over the top

_a/n: Nursery rhymes with a Sherlockian twist. I own no aspect of Sherlock BBC and no nursery rhymes._

_Rose; thank you for your very kind review. Your request sounds fine, but your contact details disappeared. PM me if you wish:-)_

* * *

**Over the top**

* * *

Mycroft hopes maybe

Sherlock will stop

Acting completely

Over the top.

Surely his brother

Won't dare to greet

The palace officials

Whilst wearing a sheet?

~0~

* * *

**Hark!**

* * *

Hush, hush;

Hark how he swears;

Sherlock has fallen down seventeen stairs...

~0~

* * *

_a/n 2 first is from the rhyme..._

_Hush-a-by baby_

_On the tree top,_

_When the wind blows_

_The cradle will rock._

_When the bough breaks,_

_The cradle will fall,_

_And down will fall baby_

_Cradle and all._

_~0~_

_The second seemed too short for a page of its own. Apologies to A A Milne ( again)_


End file.
